A Mantra for your short-fuse behavior:

Therapy is not an admission of weakness

Author: Carolyn Hax

Posted on May 29, 2020


DEAR CAROLYN:   I get bent out of shape over petty stuff and I end up snapping at my sweetie.  I attribute it to the short-fuse personalities in my family, but, excuses, excuses.  Can you suggest a mantra to help me keep my cool?       --Short Fuse

DEAR SHORT FUSE:  Your Mantra*
     Therapy is not an admission of weakness.
     Therapy is not an admission of weakness.
     Therapy is not an admission of weakness.
     Therapy is not an admission of weakness.

Why dance around it? From your short-fuse family you learned short-fuse behavior.

image of a fentanyl patchIf a relative had taught you poor grammar, you would have an English teacher correct it, right?  And to correct bad form in the weight room, you'd talk to a trainer? So.

Call for individual counseling with a competent family therapist, a class in emotional flexibility, to teach you to respond to stress without getting bent out of shape."

  From "Dear Carolyn,” Carolyn Hax, syndicated columnist, this first appeared in 2005, reprinted in the Seattle Times, Dec 2019. 
Reproduced here as a public service.

Webmaster's note:  Occasional troublesome emotions and irrational fears, anxiety, depression and bursts of anger, by themselves, are not mental illness.  Professional counseling can help you--not just to talk about it, but to change the thinking processes that are generating the problems, so you can continue in an ever more rational, joyful, contented, existence. 

But if any these feelings or behaviors become frequent, constant, causes significant distress or impairment, lead to insomnia or interrupt sleep, produce feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt, recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal ideation, plans, or attempts, or to cause loss of employment, they have become a significant cause for concern and treatment. 

For example, symptoms of post-partum depression, the depression suffered by a mother following childbirth, usually arising from the combination of hormonal changes, extreme fatigue and psychological adjustment to motherhood, are physiological in origin and indicates the need for immediate medical intervention by an MD, to avoid physical and emotional damage to the new-borne.

*Mantra (man·tra) originally a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation, here a statement or slogan repeated frequently to facilitate behavior change.

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